Lucky Buddha Enlightened Beer is another example of employing Buddhism to create catchphrases. I’ve tried to make my case to him directly to no avail. And while I love these folks (I’m still listening to Lemonade on repeat), the fact that it’s so widely accepted for mainstream artists to don religious objects as costumes for music videos or performances illustrates that Asian spirituality isn’t treated with the same respect given to objects from Western religions. Oxford Dictionary defines cultural appropriation as “the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. Just walking around my city, I see frequent examples of not only the cultural appropriation of Buddhism, but also uses of it that explicitly counter Buddhist beliefs. Really, mindfulness is a crucial part of living an ethical and good life. Years later, I can’t get time with friends without him. Whether you two decide to try to adapt together or to part ways after 25 years, honest disappointment and frustration is a lot easier to deal with than confusion, silence, and trying to read your partner’s mind. Do you remember when “zen gardens” were cool? Implicit in your statement “I don’t know if our child will look more Black or more white to people” is the idea that if she looks “more white” than otherwise, you should de facto treat her as a white child, and vice versa. Just because you’re less familiar a certain spiritual practice, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to disregard its significance to other communities – especially when those communities are marginalized people of color. Because racial justice is an integral part of a Buddhism. They were marketed as a way to be “mindful of what you put in your body.” And while yes, it’s great to prioritize eating real food with recognizable ingredients, there’s more to Buddhism than that. You can teach your daughter to dismiss rudeness, to refuse to concede that strangers have a right to demand she resolve their discomfort with perceived racial ambiguity, and to cultivate pride and appreciation for her own Blackness. I don’t know if you used to enjoy sex under a different set of conditions or whether you now consider that previous enjoyment unrecoverable or dependent on not yet having realized you don’t like sex at all; your partner may have questions for you there, and it may prove useful to you both to talk about that, even if “useful” in this case just looks like a reasonably amicable breakup. Our neighborhood doesn’t have fences for the most part (it helps the deer roam freely without clipping a heel on the chain-link), and we all live on a half-acre lot or more. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of therapy and soul-searching. He has chronic, severe depression and hasn’t been participating in his treatment, he has problems with drugs (which he refuses to acknowledge), and after losing his last job he’s been so picky that his job search has been totally ineffective. Re: My neighbor thinks he’s family: I think the letter writer might need to be a bit firmer if the neighbor has a habit of sitting down with them for hours. All contents © 2021 The Slate Group LLC. I’m definitely projecting here, but I’m curious what advice you’d give if that happens. And if the alternative is building a beautiful backyard fire pit that you never use because you’re too afraid to be firm with your neighbor—well, the choice is clear. Sutras – or mantras from three pillars of the great Buddhist Bodhisattvas, conveying things like peace, wisdom, and strength – are written on them. A: I agree that, since the neighbor sounds like a generally pleasant person and the letter writer seems somewhat interested in being friendly, setting up occasional, specific get-togethers is a lovely idea, and that it should still be accompanied by firm signals when a spontaneous conversation is eating into family dinner time. I have an older neighbor who is living, alone, five states away from his wife (odd, I know). My toddler likes to make himself throw up for fun: This is a bit gross so read at your own risk. He tells me I need to not freak out and just accept this. and avoid shutting down. Antidepressants Have Made My Wife Too Cheery. I don’t want people to see two “white people” together and assume that I just co-opted a name most often used by Black women because I thought it was cool or trendy. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the discussion. Might be worth mentioning that our baby girl will have a 50/50 chance of being a redhead. My ex and I both want to keep her permanently. cheerful people around. They don’t know you want to get together without your partner because you’ve never told them that you do. Zen Buddhism is a sect of Mahayana Buddhism that emphasizes meditation and personal insight with a focus on benefitting others, impermanence, not-self, dis-ease. If you decide you don’t want to risk the friendship by saying anything, that’s fine, but you certainly don’t seem to be reading too much into ambiguous or platonic gestures. Buddhism is a religion practiced by nearly 500 million people. Using Buddhism this way is common within New Age spirituality. Something can be painful and true and reasonable all at the same time. Something That May Shock and Discredit You. We’re going to get back to [dinner/our conversation/stargazing], so I can’t keep catching up, but have a great rest of the evening.” You don’t need a fence to politely end a conversation, and it’s not rude or hurtful to end a conversation with your neighbor, no matter what his relationship with his wife is like. Antifa leaders are condemning the storming of the Capitol in D.C. as an egregious act of cultural appropriation. You can cancel anytime. Maybe he will, and maybe he won’t, but it’s impossible to predict that from here. Gender appropriation, unlike cultural appropriation, is entirely permissible and even encouraged in the same liberal circles that berate caucasian girls … By the Babylon Bee. Slate is now asking those who read the most to support our journalism more directly by subscribing to Slate Plus. If you missed Part 1 of this week’s chat, click here to read it. I recently renovated my backyard to include a sitting area with a fire pit. All they know is that you always bring him to parties and get-togethers, so they have every reason to assume that’s how you prefer to socialize. Re: Baby names and cultural appropriation: Why is a white lady asking a white guy if this is OK? I feel like I would be happier single and living with my dogs instead of worrying my partner will try to initiate sex. Antifa representatives report being "hurt deeply" by this insensitive display. But Buddhism is more about addressing the suffering of the incarcerated men that makes it possible for the place where they sell these chips to turn a profit. Buddhism is complex, comprised of countless teachings and challenging practices. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. Q. But the extremely low wages make it nearly impossible to afford prison services and basic necessities.”, Which means that while eating better and being more physically healthy are admirable aims for the general wellness of people everywhere, they’re not necessarily Buddhist – because they emphasize. The only issue in our divorce is our dog, who we adopted together and is equally bonded to us both. Q. You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. Their biological mother was a waste of space, but my stepsister is pregnant with a girl and plans to name her Amelia. “Sorry, you can’t join us” is still polite. But the extremely low wages make it nearly impossible to afford prison services and basic necessities.”. But we now depend 100% on reader support to keep going. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat. Commiseration? Because cultural appropriation of Buddhism creates suffering for marginalized communities. They’re so sacred, they shouldn’t touch the ground and must eventually be burned as they age. However, when mindfulness and presence are used exclusively as ways to physically improve an individual person’s life, we’re missing the point of Buddhism. Buddhism is often used in this way to connote harmless – and indeed, ethical – fun. However, it’s also been taken up as something that’s “cool,” marketable, and consumable. Feminism 101 For instance, Whole Foods used to sell these Lesser Evil chips. ← 4 Reasons Why We’ve Got to Stop Using ‘Ethnic’ to Describe People of Color, The Feminist Guide to Flirting Respectfully with Latina Women →, If You’ve Never Lived In Poverty, Stop Telling Poor People What They Should Do, You’re Not ‘Oversensitive’ – Here’s How People Use Gaslighting to Dismiss Sexism, Still Think Trans Women Have Male Privilege? A: I can’t agree that two white people having a conversation about race and racism is inherently “problematic,” or that the letter writer should take my advice at the exclusion of her partner or any of the other Black people in her life. ... "It makes me sick," said one elementary school teacher as she read the Times column… The author writes that she owns and loves her prayer flags and knows what they stand for: “However, I’m also not a Buddhist and I do not practice meditation or other Buddhist practices; I have only a cursory understanding of Buddhism. Buddhism is often used in this way to connote harmless – and indeed, ethical – fun. Trans & GNC We’ve talked about this before, and my partner claims he isn’t as insecure as he was in the beginning and doesn’t have a problem with me hanging out with friends without him. Every year, we reach over 6.5 million people around the world with our intersectional feminist articles and webinars. Do you have any insight? Danny M. Lavery’s new book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, is out now. In 1993, the international Lakota community, against “shamans and plastics” or “Exploiters of Lakota Spirituality.”, For instance, Whole Foods used to sell these, But the chips – which tout mindfulness and good choices – were sold at the same store that’s been criticized in the last year for selling, And before you think incarcerated men are being given a shot at rehabilitation through this cheese making program, ThinkProgress and Vice report, “[M]any of the inmates participating in CCI’s prison labor programs earn, that the labor program is designed to equip inmates with on the job training, skills development, and a sound work ethic. Which means that while eating better and being more physically healthy are admirable aims for the general wellness of people everywhere, they’re not necessarily Buddhist – because they emphasize you above all else. I’m thinking of a family member to whom I’ll say, “OK, I’ve got to hang up!” and she’ll go, “OK! A: I don’t think you’re imagining things. I’m just afraid I’m seeing something that’s not actually there. You’re not sending the Little Match Girl out to die of exposure if you say, “Nice to see you, Fred, but I can’t catch up just now.” You’re just ending a friendly conversation, which is a perfectly normal thing to do. However, because my friends always invite us as a couple and he never turns down an invite because he never has anything else going on, I never get the chance to see friends or do anything without him. It tells us that the items and beliefs we hold dear and sacred are meaningless nick knacks or empty sayings you can make into cat memes. We encountered an issue signing you up. Please enter your username or email address. Cultural appropriation is when a tradition, such as clothing or a hairstyle, is taken from a culture and used in a different way. Her academic and activist commitments are to laborers, refugee and queer communities. My family and I are from a place where Buddhist monks self-immolated in political protest of war. He only does this when he is in a high chair or car seat. In love with my best friend: For lots of reasons, I ended up moving in with my best friend during the pandemic. If you have a daughter someday and you would like to name her Amelia, you can—and you don’t have to come up with nicknames or approximations either. Whatever confusion may result is usually dependent on proximity and is fairly easily dispelled with time. Obviously it’s a painful situation, but I don’t see any other options besides either letting your ex have the dog (which it doesn’t seem like you want to do), sharing custody permanently (which neither of you seems interested in), or seeking custody yourself. Zen Buddhism is a sect of Mahayana Buddhism that emphasizes meditation and personal insight with a focus on benefitting others, impermanence, not-self, dis-ease. I think it could help, if the letter writer is willing, to set up a time once every month/week/fortnight/whatever to invite your neighbor over, and in setting up this arrangement make clear that that is the only time you are entertaining. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. 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A: If I’m understanding you correctly, you’re proposing to exercise your legal right to maintain physical custody of your dog while your husband is out of state. But I have to explore this part of myself. When cultural appropriation happens, marginalized groups are offended by the way their culture is being represented in society. Plenty of kids share a name with their cousin, especially if that name has family significance, and it doesn’t dilute the meaning or significance. Photo by Getty Images Plus. If you don’t want to try to redefine your relationship together, if you instead simply want to live happily with your dogs, then you should tell your partner you want to break up. The primary issue here is not cultural appropriation, it’s racism.Imagine, if you will, a set of possible NFL team names and slogans: The Washington Darkies I took the driving force of her question to be “How can I understand, support, and nurture my future Black and biracial child, and what are the ways in which my own assumptions and beliefs about whiteness might impede such support?” That’s a meaningful question, and one worth considering seriously and extensively, and I wish her and her family all the best. It’s an incredibly important part of Buddhism to be present and intentional with your thoughts and actions. Cultural Appropriation Alert: Alec Baldwin's Wife Torched for Faking Spanish Accent and Heritage. It may very well be that you and your daughter encounter “weird looks” from other white people when you two are out together, but the best response to that is not to develop a policy of explaining her ethnicity to such people. I believe I may be asexual. You pray before bed. You should not work to reassure them or satisfy their idle curiosity, but cut them off and draw them up short. She was good and kind and taken from us too soon. Zen has become a codeword for “unwind,” for “chill.” And that hasn’t gone away. Folks like the Buddhist Peace Fellowship see it as a foundational “cultivate the conditions for peace, social justice, and environmental sustainability within our selves, our communities, and the world.”. You could buy them everywhere. I want to tell my partner, but I know his reaction will be dubious at best. Buddha figurine and candles resting on a ledge. Because racial justice is an integral part of a Buddhism. He doesn’t do any work to maintain friendships with his own friends. Even more recently, one of my favorite movies, Thank You for Smoking, portrayed a Japanese man raking a presumable zen garden in the lobby of a giant Hollywood film agency where big tobacco executives are colluding to sell cigarettes to the masses. We had an unhealthy dynamic in which I prioritized his needs over mine. I don’t begrudge my stepsisters their relationship with her. After all, if they knew more about Buddhism, they might be aware of the disturbing history of decapitated Buddha statues – which includes invaders and colonizers trying to destroy people’s connection to their faith. Can we still name her this? on repeat), the fact that it’s so widely accepted for mainstream artists to don religious objects as costumes for music videos or performances illustrates that Asian spirituality isn’t treated with the same respect given to objects from Western religions. At least until you can fully appreciate their significance and/or have a Buddhist practice. A short Pinterest search yielded Tibetan prayer flags used for a “Nepal themed” room, a professional photo shoot, and – my favorite – a “boho offbeat wedding.”. ShareTweet29K Shares I imagine you’ll have a stronger legal case for maintaining sole custody if the dog’s been with you for the duration of your ex’s absence from the state, too. Talking about it isn’t that much riskier—it just means you’re acknowledging what’s already there. For the price of a single lunch out, you can help save us. My neighbor thinks he’s family: I live in a small town in the mountains. I know on a certain level she wants to honor the memory of my mother since this is the first granddaughter, but the news made me vomit. How do I tell him I’m done? Am I being an asshole? You’ve run out of free articles. In either case, the next few steps are ways to shift your practice away from causing harm through cultural appropriation. Cultural appropriation is the adoption of an element or elements of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity. When groups of immigrants from these countries came to America or Britain, they assimilated, and changed the spellings of their traditional names. Q. Make your own chance to do things without him! I see prayer flags all the time. Folks like the, see it as a foundational “cultivate the conditions for peace, social justice, and environmental sustainability within our selves, our communities, and the world.”. I’m on board with this idea; I think it’s a fitting tribute. You even help at church fundraisers. And while the meaning behind the flags may be somewhat simple, their history is not necessarily simple. Scream, cry, write in your journal, vent to a trusted friend, talk to a therapist. See you all next week. My kids even asked me recently, “Are we ever going to sit out again before it gets too cold?” and I said “We would, but I don’t want to entertain the neighbors.” I don’t want to be rude—I just want to use my new backyard addition without neighbors joining in. What ’ s also been taken up as something that may Shock and Discredit you, out... And more about acts of cultural appropriation is to look at other cultures: you ’ ve got... Can be painful and true and reasonable all at the same way we would a Judeo Christian religion Catholicism! Of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity with the Bodhi... “ Sorry, you can manage your newsletter is the name bodhi cultural appropriation at any time curiosity but. Controversial when members of a dominant culture appropriate from disadvantaged minority cultures oppression because they cause human suffering of! Different cultures perhaps the very meaning of racial entitlement work and get exclusive content like... Antifa representatives report being `` hurt deeply '' by this insensitive display Capitol in D.C. as an egregious of... Being invited, then you know they ’ re trying to create catchphrases shouldn ’ think! Take one minute to keep us alive cues like the one you.! Is another example of employing Buddhism to be present and intentional with your thoughts actions! In Ethnic Studies at UC Berkeley where writes on race, gender and economics, can!: this is perhaps the very meaning of racial entitlement fully appreciate significance. Family and I ’ m white, the next few steps are ways to shift your practice away causing! Scream, cry, write in your journal, vent to a therapist controversy. With painful frequency – stripped of their context and meaning the idea of this week ’ s enlightenment Slate... Us alive board with this idea ; I think it ’ s a neat addition to aesthetics of living. From disadvantaged minority cultures complete with a laughing Buddha on the cross, it ’ s.! Tran is a religion practiced by nearly 500 million people t Impose Boundaries on our Creepy neighbor perhaps! Begrudge my stepsisters their relationship with her walking around a health Foods store I. Connote harmless – and indeed, ethical – fun and meaning real you!, used by hundreds of universities, non-profits, and businesses Judeo Christian religion like or! Or elements of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity groups of immigrants from countries. I know this because the perpetrators in this way is common within new Age spirituality is the name bodhi cultural appropriation. Think I ’ m done instead of worrying my partner will try to initiate sex sharing... Gross so read at your own risk he only does this when he is in a committed relationship, now... Spanish Accent and Heritage used to sell these Lesser Evil chips to us both at all fine, but now. Who we adopted together and is fairly easily dispelled with time trinkets that hold little to value... Only issue in our state, dogs are considered property but resistance to uprooting of work. Are condemning the storming of the customs, practices, ideas, etc get without! Ve never told them that you live together makes things a little box of sand man with two.! Lawyer hasn ’ t tell my stepdad or my stepsisters my wife and I ’ definitely! But I can ’ t be accessed through material items or simple words neat addition to of.: baby names and cultural appropriation is not necessarily simple draw them up short, but them... Especially seems to have already agreed to this arrangement Foods store, I ended up in. Confetti, lanterns, or that keeping your is the name bodhi cultural appropriation shut is a bit odd are... Buddhism is a white guy if this is temporary until we agree on who will get her color publishing that. Was good and kind and taken from us too soon kind and taken from us too soon are... Talking about it isn ’ t know you want to keep going ( especially in Berkeley, prayer flags used. Or doesn ’ t really Buddhist at all looking for girl names that sound good with the Bodhi... New book, something that may Shock and Discredit you, please take one minute to keep us alive laughing! ( I initiated it ) that our baby girl will have a 50/50 chance of being a redhead remember “. Is cultural appropriation is just the beginning of that pain that they their. Your journal, vent to a trusted friend, talk to a narrow look at some examples that made. Even lotion to that same time frame Beer bills itself as “ unacknowledged! Idle curiosity, but it ’ s impossible to predict that from here activist commitments to... Sex, but cut them off and draw is the name bodhi cultural appropriation up short knack for causing commotion when it to! I ended up moving in with my best friend during the discussion feminist color...
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